I just knew you would do it, sooner or later.

I knew you would make The Big Mistake. I wish you could see me sitting here rolling my eyes. (I've attached a digital photo of it.)

It's SO frustrating for a guy like me, knowing that I have the insight you need to do your job. Now of course, I wasn't surprised not to hear from you this weekend, before you made your decision. I'm realistic enough to know you won't call me on the phone or shoot me an e-mail--I just feel so helpless, all wised up and no place to go, know what I mean?

You see, Coach, you're not dealing with some typical NCAA fanboy. I'm an in-the-know fanboy. I played YMCA football, started three years, and was a trainer for our high school team. Yes, I've been around the block a few times. This may sound like bragging, but I am UNDEFEATED FOR ALL TIME on Playstation. As for the Dawgs, I keep a close eye on the program by reading the newspaper every single day and getting IMMEDIATE practice results off the Internet. Not only that, I have Sources. Close to people who know you! Don't ask me to give them away. And yes, I attended D-Day--I mean G-Day--in person, and saw all the players scrimmage for forty-five minutes. It should be as plain as day to you, Coach, that I have ALL the information I need to make wise decisions about our program.

That's why I made a Bank On It post several months ago. You know--a Write It Down post. On the Vent, you understand.

I posted exactly what our quarterback rotation would be, and ended my post, "Bank on it!" I cited my Source. I analyzed D-Day--I mean G-Day. I told all those wanna-be fanboy dummies exactly what you were going to do. Naturally, a lot of them contradicted my wisdom (the Vent is FILLED with dummies who don't have my advanced gridiron comprehension). For months I supported my Bank On It position by reading between the lines of practice reports, citing my Source, and using plenty of condescending insults to those who disagreed with me.

And now you do THIS. You have completely undermined my revealed wisdom. Do you care NOTHING about my Internet reputation?

I expect a letter of apology forthwith, and a reinstatement of my suggested quarterback rotation which is attached. I have also attached some suggestions about position switches and some plays that I feel will work--if you had used these in the past, you would be UNDEFEATED FOREVER, just as I am on Playstation. (That's where I got the plays.)

I would say more, but I have similar letters to write to the President of the United States, the Pope, and a prominent nuclear physicist.

Yours,
The Omniscient Fanboy
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Posted by Saxondawg on 8/21/2006 as a response after JT3 named as starter.