Bumblebee Backers Get Chance to Gloat(854 total words in this text) (3352 Reads)
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Lewis Grizzard
Dec. 1985, Atlanta Journal-Constitution
For today’s
column, I have decided to give myself a belated Christmas present. Here is
what I am going to do:
Just like
last year, when Tech beat Georgia in football, I received a rash of letters
from Tech fans who felt the need to gloat.
Most of these
letters - or at least the ones written by individuals who were literate enough
to make sense – began by saying, “You obnoxious redneck……”
I usually
do not continue reading past that point and I throw the letters into the trash,
along with the letters from people who think they are God and want to grant
me an exclusive interview.
But this
year’s letters were particularly nasty, and I decided what I would do today
is run portions of the letters and then answer them in my noted caustic and
clever manner. The kicker is that when more Tech fans write me letters as
a result of today’s column, I am going to ignore them so that I get the last
word.
Caustic and
clever, right? Roll the presses boys, here we go: ?
Tom Brewer of Decatur
writes: “Try to look on the bright side……The Little Hairless Pooches played
four decent teams – Bama, Florida, Auburn, and Tech – and actually beat one
of them.”
HOW ABOUT TECH vs. UT
at SODDY-DAISY?
Wait one minute, Tom.
Want to know about patsy schedules? Tech played such powers as Virginia and
Duke and NC State and Wake Forest, not to mention such crowd-pleasers as Western
Carolina and the University of Tennessee at Soddy-Daisy or some such place.
Plus, Tech is dropping
Tennessee and Auburn from its schedule and will become the first school in
history to make its stadium smaller so the visiting fans won’t outnumber the
Tech loyalists.
Somebody who signed his
or her name “Undecipherable in Young Harris” writes: “Two in a row, you obnoxious
redneck.”
Go drown in a vat of Varsity
grease, Undecipherable. Want some numbers? Here are some numbers: 16 and 6.
That is Vince Dooley’s record against Tech, Calculus-Breath.
A.J. Venable of Atlanta
offers the following thought: “You and most Georgia supporters are terrible
winners. I don’t know why we should expect different behavior when you lose.”
JACKET FANS ARE SUCH A
CLASS ACT, OF COURSE
Put this on your slide
rule and compute it, A.J.,: “Tech fans are known for being obnoxious.” Know
who said that? His initials are B.C. and he wears sunglasses.
From G.N.we get, “The
other day, I was following this beat-up, run-down piece of car. On the back
there was a Georgia decal. You bunch of ignoramuses can’t even make enough
money with a Georgia education to drive decent cars.”
I know the car. It’s the
one Georgia gave Tyrone Sorrells if he’d promise to transfer to Tech.
Mildred (I couldn’t make
out her last name) from Macon pens: “Face it Bulldogs, You just ain’t got
no class.”
Face it, Mildred. You
obviously ain’t eat up with it yourself.
And, finally, from someone
who identified himself as “Tech Student, Class of ‘87”: “Even more important
than the football game is the fact I’ll make more money my first year out
of school than the average Georgia grad will make the first 10.”
Dear Mr. Big Bucks: I
showed Dorsey Hill, the worlds biggest Georgia fan and rather successful entrepreneur,
your letter and his response was, “If they mess with me, I’ll buy the Tech
campus and turn it into a parking lot.”
We shall resume this argument
in 11 months.
Thanks to GLady for giving
me this one!
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