The Techie Went Down to Athens

The Techie went down to Athens
He was looking for a game to steal
He was mean and sly and his team was small fry
And he was willing to cheat and lie
When he came across this Bulldawg
Throwing with a football and throwing it hot
And the Techie jumped on an inflatable bee
And said, "Boy let me tell you what

I guess you didn't know it
But I'm a football player too
And if you'd care to take a dare
I'll make a bet with you
Now you play pretty good football, boy
But give the Techie his due
I bet a slide rule of gold against your soul
'Cause I think I'm better than you."

The boy said "My name's David
And it might be a sin
But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret
Beat you worse than you've ever been"

Bulldogs gather up your crowds
And cheer until you're deaf
'Cause nerds broke loose in Sanford
And the Techies pay the ref
And if you win
You get this shiny slide rule made of gold
But if you lose, the Techie gets your soul

The Techie broke his huddle first
And he said "I'll start this show"
And fire flew from Pollack's hair
As the wind began to blow
And he tried to run and tried to pass
But Thornton made him miss
Then a band of Bulldawgs joined in
And it sounded something like this

(here you should imagine the weeping and wailing of ineffectual nerds as the Dawgs chew on them)

When the Techie finished David said
"Well you kind of suck old son
But sit down on that bench right there
And let me show you how it's done !"

Hole in the middle, run Musa run
Get a thousand yards with the setting sun
Gibson in the endzone easy as cake,
34-nothing at the halftime break

The Techie bowed his head
Because he knew that he'd been beat
And he laid that golden slide rule
On the ground at David's feet
David said "Techie just come on back
If you ever want to try again
Cause I told you once, you son of a *****
The Bulldawgs will always win”

And he played

Pollack in the backfield, run Suggs run
Up forty-four with the setting sun
Edwards making catches and Wall running hard,
Fifty one to seven in the Dawgs' back yard

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SFATM
by Rabid Dawg